Mind Over Motivation
Over the weekend my youngest daughter let me know she wanted to do 75 Hard again. We had done it a couple of years ago, and while she hated the process she did notice she felt better when she was taking care of herself.
She went online and found a chart someone had created offering suggestions for three versions—Hard, Medium, Soft. She picked something from each one and created her own challenge.
When we did 75 Hard as a family, my daughter hated it. It was so daunting. The idea of messing up at any point along the way meant she had to start over was too much for her. She does not do well under that pressure. It makes her panic. So she decided to do it on her terms this time.
And that is how you succeed. Take what works and run with it. And then throw the rest away. What motivates someone else may not motivate you.
One of my other daughters absolutely loved the accountability offered in having to start over if you missed something . It drove her to excellence.
The same challenge was given to two of my girls, and they had two very different reactions. One thrived, and the other shut down. Both were good responses, because it is WHO THEY ARE.
This is a perfect example of what has to happen if you want to make changes in your life.
Sometimes, it feels like modifying isn’t really doing the real thing. It is cheating and doesn’t count. Making these statements and judgements can be detrimental to your well-being. Because it undermines your effort and work to make things better. Inevitably, the focus is shifted to your weaknesses and excuses. And if you happen to be a perfectionist, then forget starting anything, because you will fail automatically.
The real challenge comes from diligently and intentionally pursuing the change you identified for yourself. Regardless of what the change is, or what your end goal is, it is all achieved in the same way…by CONSITENTLY showing up.
Showing up every day gets tedious. Doing the work loses its appeal after a little while. It isn’t new anymore. It becomes hard. Life happens, and then you have to figure out what your priorities are. You get tired and discouraged. Results aren’t coming as quickly as you hoped.
But you KEEP SHOWING UP!
Why?
Transformation occurs from repeatedly doing the two things—renewing your mind and changing your behavior. Do something different because you have a new perspective.
What happens when you are tired and there is no motivation to keep going?
According to Psychology Today, there are four reasons we lose motivation. Every single one of these four things has to do with mindset.
Reason 1: You believe you can’t do it. You are excited to start. You purchase all the tools. You read and plan and have it all figured out. Then you get started and it is harder than you thought. Your muscles hurt. You are tired. The scale isn’t moving. You really want the cheesecake or soda. The mind is convinced this is all to hard and you will never be able to do it. Others can figure it out, but that just isn’t you. So you quit. The mind quit before the body.
Solution 1: Do it anyway. Assess and see if there are any changes that need to be made. How do you need to modify to make the goal attainable? Help might need brought in—find a trainer or nutritionist. Maybe accountability is what you need. Figure out what you need to make this happen and then DO IT.
To quote Nike, “Just do it!”
Reason 2: Do you have a fixed mindset or a growth mindset? When presented with new things do you believe you can conquer the challenges and learn new skills? Or are you convinced you are too old to learn anything new? After all, you can’t teach a dog new tricks, so why bother? You were never that smart or athletic or creative, or whatever.
When stuck in a fixed mindset you close yourself off to learning. And the mind doesn’t even try. It already knows everything ends in failure. You’re doomed to be a victim of life and nothing will change that.
Solution 2: Go into a new situation willing to learn. Remind yourself you are capable of learning new things. After all, you didn’t get to where you are today without learning new things. At the very least you had to learn to walk and feed yourself. If one-year-old you could figure out how to walk, then certainly you can figure out how to learn something new and be good at it.
The mindset you bring with you each day determines the outcome. Are you capable of learning and doing things differently?
Reason 3: If you don’t see progress you will be inclined to lose motivation. Progress is a real motivator. If you see the results, you are more likely to keep doing the hard work.
Solution 3: This, in my mind, is the easiest one to fix. You simply have to look for small victories that point you in the direction you want to do. Are you trying to lose weight? Then look for non-scale victories. Do your clothes fit better? Are you stronger or more flexible? Do you feel differently? Changing what you are looking for can help you see where progress is being made. Sometimes, it isn’t obvious.
Reason 4: You don’t believe what you are doing matters. If it has no value then why do it? Why work this hard for no reason?
Solution 4: Remind yourself of your why. What is the reason you are taking on the challenge? Is it so you can look cute in an outfit? Is it because you are tired of not being well? Maybe it is to help ease anxiety and overthinking. Maybe you are thinking about the future, and you want to be mobile and strong when you get old. Remember your why and let that drive you. The mind gives up long before the body.
FIND YOUR PURPOSE!
As you go about your transformational journey, pay attention you WHO YOU ARE and work within that framework. Don’t let others tell you who you should be. Don’t let the internet get in your head. Instead, ask God to show you who He created you to be.
Psalms tells you He knit YOU together in your mother’s womb. He knows everything about you. Ask Him to reveal who you are. He created us to explore and be curious.
Do something daring and live boldly. Discover who you are. Own it. Run with it. And let the world see what you have to offer.